the Shakedown: slang. "a thorough search of a place or person." (dictionary.com)
I think I'll make this my theme song
Friday, Sept. 26, 2003 at 2:02 pm
Tonight should rock. Although whenever I think a night is going to rock it usually ends up sucking. It's always those nights when you go out at the last minute in your sweats and a baggy t-shirt that you end up getting ten phone numbers, a couple lap dances, and free drinks all night long. It must be karma or something. Or maybe just that fun shit tends to happen when you least except it.
Anyway, tonight has a high probability of rocking. Besides going out with a couple of my favorite girlfriends, one of them is trying to hook me up with a guy. I have another guy that I just met wanting me to call him to hook up. And I've got another guy who will be home all night waiting for me to come over after I go out, "even if it's 3AM" he said. Yeah he wants it bad.
Man I sound like a hooker. I don't care. I deserve this. I've been on a major dry spell for almost a year. I'm on the prowl.
To quote the lovely Lesley Gore:
Die, you filthy cock-a-roach! Die!
Thursday, Sept. 25, 2003 at 3:58 pm
I finally figured out why I hate bugs. All bugs. I don't care what the circumstances are, I'll kill it. Bugs are digusting. I'm sorry, but anything with green guts is fucking disgusting. But I'm not one of those sissy girls who runs and screams for a man to come squish it. Oh no. I'll fight the mother fucker until it's guts are smashed into a billion pieces. I'll hit it a hundred times with a magazine until there is no trace of it's original form left. I'll stomp on it until my foot starts cramping.
But as I was saying, I finally figured out why I hate bugs so much. And the reason is because for the most part they are so small that they could easily end up in any of my rather small bodily orifices and that just scares the ever lovin' crap out of me. I mean, think about, a living creature stuck inside your body! How disgusting is that? I mean, it was weird enough having a human inside my gut for nine months. But an insect!? Inside my body!? I think I would die!
Finally! A (nother) place for me to vent!
Thursday, Sept. 25, 2003 at 2:45 pm
Oh, I almost forgot. My girl CK started a new forum for all us cool people. You know who you are! Now come and let us discuss the ways of the world... or at least about gettin' some.
Smartest kid ever
Thursday, Sept. 25, 2003 at 2:02 pm
Plug time
Thursday, Sept. 25, 2003 at 10:10 am
The Jamester and I have started our own diary layout review site. If you want an honest critique of your self-designed diary or blog layout, check us out at Surface Reviews!
Fem-Fem Moment No. 5,668
Thursday, Sept. 25, 2003 at 9:07 am
Whenever I start talking all "feminist" like around my dad, he always asks me, "Are you having a Fem-Fem Moment, Ang?" First time he said it, of course I was offended. But now, I've taken a liking to it. Just like I've come to adore the word bitch. Hey, I am what I am.
Anyway, I'm a linking whore today because everyone is brilliant today and I am not.
The following is the best explanation EVER of why men resort to lame insults when they have nothing else to argue. I'm in awe. I know several of you lovely ladies will relate so deeply to this.
Daddy I want you to nail me in the caboose?
Thursday, Sept. 25, 2003 at 9:01 am
You've got to see this kid rapping. I don't know whether to laugh or cry or barf. Yeesh!
*If you are at work, note this has sound and it's rather long.
I'm an ass
Wednesday, Sept. 24, 2003 at 2:48 pm
I know a three year old little girl who has cancer.
I should stab myself for ever even thinking for a moment that I've got problems.
Please pray for Maddie if you can.
A Tuesday Laughery
Tuesday, Sept. 23, 2003 at 10:46 am
I missed the lesson on self-discipline
Monday, Sept. 22, 2003 at 4:01 pm
I'm moral. Then something happens. I slip. Then I keep slipping. Before I know it I'm a heaping pile of guilt-ridden scum. Something or someone slaps me across my conscience and the cycle starts again.
What is my problem? Am I weak? Am I just a sleezeball? Or is this human nature? Will I ever reach a plain where I never slip? Or am I destined to fall in and out of unethical periods of living for the rest of my life?
Why do I do things that I know are wrong? I try to convince myself there's nothing wrong with me, that I shouldn't feel guilty. I try to justify these things I guess so I can sleep at night without nightmares of being burned at the stake like a modern day witch.
But sometimes I think I truly deserve it. Someone needs to hold me accountable, otherwise, I will take advantage of my loose reigns.
It's happy random Monday time
Monday, Sept. 22, 2003 at 11:09 am
I need gay radar. I don't know if there even is such a thing. But I need it.
Also, you want to know what hurts so bad that it makes you want to kill yourself? Getting deodorant in your eye! But only if it has anti-perspirant in it. It will dry up your eye and make it burn so bad. Oh man, I twitch just thinking about it. Don't ask me how I got deodorant in my eye. Just make sure it never happens to you.
Want to know the shortest sentence in the English language to crush a man's ego into oblivion?
"Is it in?"