the Shakedown: slang. "a thorough search of a place or person." (dictionary.com)

Ice storm 2005

Thursday, Jan. 06, 2005 at 2:48 pm

There's over 70,000 people without power in and around my city.

And I'm not one of them. Muwahahaha!

Also, today I heard Jennifer Lopez's new song. Wow! It sucked big hairy saggy nutsacks! I mean, bless her little million-dollar heart (or should that read million-dollar booty?), but the girl can not sing. What ever happened to actually having some talent in order to be rich and famous?



What happened to all the turds?

Wednesday, Jan. 05, 2005 at 2:08 am

I feel like talking. I know I neglect this damn blog for days and weeks at a time, but I sometimes can't find the right words to express how I'm feeling or what I'm going thru, so I'd rather just not bother anyone with the boring explanation. And sometimes I just want to ramble off crap that makes no sense to anyone but myself, and you people already think I'm crazy enough as it is. But tonight? I feel like talking. So pull up a chair and get yourself a nice cup of Joe, or vodka, or coollaide, whatever.

Let's start with my lovely household. My Not-So-Formerly-Gay-Roommate has been struggling financially lately. He can't seem to find a job he likes and has been missing a lot of work. He's 3 months behind on rent and my parents are threatening to kick him out for me. I'm getting the money he owes me by the end of this week, so I do feel better, but I'm still worried about him.

I never talked about him after the whole American Idol thing, but what happened is, he decided to not go to Hollywood. See, he's very religious and everyone around him, except me, was discouraging him from going to Hollywood, stating that it would pull him back into the "homosexual lifestyle" that he is trying so desperately to get out of. He struggles with it daily and I can't imagine the kind of soul torture that goes along with trying to be something that I'm inherantly not. Other than all that major crapola, he's like the most perfect roommate ever. He's clean and neat and quiet and he's my smoking buddy.

The job is going, slowly, but going. I still love it, when I have a good client and all that jazz. But I've found all too soon that there are some MAJOR FUCKING ASSTWATS in this world who are looking to buy houses. A buyer will fuck you up the ass faster than Christina Aguewhorela will open her legs for the camera. All my sellers have been beautiful so far, so no complaints there, well other than unrealistic expectations. Dude, just because you put in a custom made wetbar it does not increase the value of your house by 10 grand. Get your stupid fat head out of the stupid fat clouds people!

So anyway, I try to do something real estate related every day, whether it's checking new homes on the market, checking my email, or making phone calls. But I gotta be honest, somedays I just sit around and watch a lot of daytime TV, picking my nose until the boogers run dry. I'm a lazy bitch, what can I say, it's who I am. When the opportunity to be lazy presents itself, I'm not going to say no.

So I was reading thru some of my old entries the other night and I realized, I have totally left you guys hanging when it comes to my dating life on more than a few occassions. And for that, I'm so, so so, so sorry. Let me just explain something right now that maybe some of you haven't figured out by now. I get bored with men quickly. Like by the second or third date, I'm usually ready to run out the door screaming and never look back. Sometimes by the first date. I either never call them again, avoid all their calls until they get the hint, or they catch the vibe that I'm not interested by me telling them blatantly that I'm not interested and they never call me again.

So basically, one of the three usually happens and I never talk to them again, so there's nothing to write about. So when I talk about a guy and I'm all, "I'm going to marry him and we are going to make babies, " or I'm all, "His cock was huge and yummy," but then I never mention him again, chances are he turned into a boring turd shortly thereafter and I hit the ground running. I have a short attention span when it comes to men, what can I say. Actually I left off one scenario, that has been known to happen, but I try to hide it because I'm a conceited whore - sometimes they just never call me again and I have no idea what the fuck happened, but I'm too selfish to really care. So those ones don't make the headlines either.

I have met someone new, but I don't want to write about quite yet and jinx it because this one might actually maybe kinda sorta have potential. So just know that I've got a sweet sweet man on my mind a lot lately and you'll hear about when I'm good and ready. And if you never hear about it, then he turned into a turd.

So there is this big ice storm going on here in south central Kansas and everyone is freaking out. Most of my friends and family are without power and the power people say it could take up to 3 days for everyone's to be restored. Last I heard, there were over 14,000 people without power. And it freezing with a capital F, so they can't be enjoying this shit. Trees are falling down everywhere, roads are blocked, businesses are closed, it's craziness. But I've got power and heat, so thank the Lord for that. I'm supposed to have a big buyer coming in town tomorrow and she wants to buy immediately, so I guess I'll have to get my lazy ass out into the treacherous weather and make some damn money. This could be a big one, so pray for me!

I think that about covers everything. If I've left you hanging about anything be sure to tell me and I'll make it a point to update you. It's 2am in the morning and I don't have shit to do in the morning, so I'm going to get back to chatting with Dennis and chain smoking and trying not to freeze my tits off. Peace out.



Hey there, Fuckface!

Thursday, Dec. 30, 2004 at 12:03 pm

Last night while we were laying in bed getting ready to go to sleep, my son called me a FUCKFACE! Or at least I could have sworn that is what he called me. I asked him to repeat himself and he quietly says, "I said fartface." Yaaah suuuure!

Not even four years old and this boy is already completely recognizable as the fruit of my loins.



"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." C.S. Lewis