the Shakedown: slang. "a thorough search of a place or person." (dictionary.com)
I better wear a Depends tonight!
Friday, Nov. 07, 2003 at 2:54 pm
For those that know me, it's well known that not much makes me happier than getting a nice piece of ass. But once in a blue moon there will be something that makes me happier. 'Tis rare, but it does happen. The occassion french silk pie for one. But for another, the words Will and Ferrell and Elf and Movie come to mind. Holy piles of elephant shit, do you have any idea how fucking excited I am about going to see this movie tonight?! I mean, do the words shitting and pants mean anything to you people!!!???
Also, "the boyfriend" is just as excited as me and he's paying and he totally wants to boink me after the movie! WILL FERRELL! AND ASS! All in one night! People, I just might spontaneously combust before this day comes to an end. And did I mention that "the boyfriend" actually likes it when I call him anus and assface and gaywad and cocksucker? Aaaaand he talks about poop! What a dreamboat.
How do you fuck a cock?
Friday, Nov. 07, 2003 at 1:40 pm
Hey, pooppackers! I need some new shit for my Cussword Database. Don't hold back now, you cockfuckers! Leave a comment at that post and if it's any good, I'll add it. Now go, and cuss good for mommy.
Sometimes I DON'T want to wake up damnit
Friday, Nov. 07, 2003 at 11:52 am
Have you ever thought someone was attractive but you were never attracted to them? And then did you ever have a dream about that person where you were all making out with them and they were sexy as hell and they had a humungus cock? And then when you woke up from that dream you ended up with the biggest crush ever on them? Man this sucks because I now want Joey Tribbiani so bad, that I don't know if any man will ever compare ever again.
I love you Joey!!
I ain't stoopid, I just doop it!
Thursday, Nov. 06, 2003 at 11:36 am
Do you ever notice how everyone is always saying how everyone else is stupid? And how everyone hates stupid people? So I guess that means that everyone everywhere really is stupid!
Except me, because I've never said that. Nope. Never.
You want to kiiiiiiss me, you want to huuuug me, you want to maaaarry me
Thursday, Nov. 06, 2003 at 11:20 am
Last night my new boyfriend came over after he took me out for sushi and wine. I was telling him how I can make any word sound dirty and sexual, because I'm just a dirty girl like that. So I grabbed the dictionary and started just flipping through the pages and would find random words and make them sound naughty. Like, rearmost and firm and blob. Man I'm so hot! Haha! But it was fun and funny and I think he's even more in love with me now that before he sent me flowers earlier in the day. They were purple flowers too, because the very first time we talked I told him my favorite color is purple. How sweet is that? I think I found a keeper. Maybe. At least through the holidays. It will be nice to have a boy to buy things for. That's right, I said buy things for. I like to do that, because then they give you hot hot lovin' in the sack because you buy them things. See how smart I am?
Yes, that's right, I have a boyfriend. Well sort of. It's the cute Irish boy that I went out with on Halloween. We decided that we aren't going to see other people for the time being. Which is so not my style, but crap, I actually don't feel like fucking around for once. Even the biggest of pimps need breaks from time to time. So, he's really great. The strangest part is I've yet to find something wrong with him. But don't go thinking I've fallen in love now, because I sure as shit have not. But he sure as shit is. Man it's funny. Don't worry, I'll be gentle with this one. I like him.
Deep thoughts
Tuesday, Nov. 04, 2003 at 1:35 pm
Can water go bad?
Or maybe I'm just happy because I got laid
Monday, Nov. 03, 2003 at 4:11 pm
People always say how much it sucks to be fat. But I�ve recently discovered something about my life that has totally changed since I�ve gotten fat. Something that totally rocks and makes me so happy and reconsider ever losing weight. Something that has, in a way, helped put life into perspective for me.
People are so less intimidated by me compared to when I was thinner. And the only reason I know I used to intimidate people is because people used to tell me that ALL THE TIME. It�s like, now, people see that I�m fat and so I�m a normal person and they actually want to talk to me and are quicker to learn what a cool chick I am. Plus, I get like just as much, if not more ass than I ever got when I was thinner. I hate to come off sounding conceited, but maybe I am a little, but I hope not in a bad way, I mean I don�t think I�m better than anyone else. But when I was thinner, and having the visually pleasing face that I do, people use to never just come up and start talking to me, especially not girls. I guess being thin and pretty might work from a distance, like the whole out-of-your-league model thing, but in real life day to day living people really aren�t too thrilled about being around a thin and pretty girl. Maybe they automatically think you are a snob or maybe it�s just jealousy, I honestly don�t know. But I swear since I�ve gotten fat, people everywhere seem to really like me.
But I don�t know, maybe it has something to do with me being a little older, a little wiser, and a little more considerate of other people. Or maybe I�ve just learned to lighten up and not take myself so seriously. Maybe it�s because I�ve learned to laugh at myself and actually make other people laugh. So many people have told me lately that I�m witty, it�s so flattering to know that I affect other people in a positive way. And not just by being something pretty to look at. I have no idea where I�m going with this, other than I guess being fat has given me the opportunity to actually get to know people on a more personal level, and that is just pretty fucking cool.
P.S. My Halloween totally rocked! I am so doing the Pimp costume next year, because it so totally fit me this year. Who�s your daddy!?