the Shakedown: slang. "a thorough search of a place or person." (dictionary.com)
Caution: I may fling poo
Thursday, Feb. 09, 2006 at 3:30 pm
I guess some of you would like a real update. I hate talking about my life because what goes on inside my head seems so much more fascinating than what's actually happening outside my head. But here goes nothin'.
I've been in an unemployed haze lately. I got fired the day before my birthday, it totally sucked balls.
The people I worked for were aliens. Seriously, they were from Uranus. The planet of complete and total buttholes. And I'm not just saying that because they fired me. They fired about ten million other people before and after me too. I'm saying that because they were mean and hateful and unhuman.
So for the last two months I've been frantically searching for a new job in between crazy spurts of going back to college and staying up all hours of the night watching sappy romance movies. I got unemployment, but it's just barely buying food, but I'm grateful to not be homeless. So grateful, in fact, that I just donated a bunch of clothes to a homeless shelter for women and children.
Yeah I'm going back to school. It's community college, but still most of the peeps here show more signs of life than the usual Wal-mart or grocery store check-out line. I'm taking nine hours and have finally decided on a major. Psychology, because I love getting inside people's brains. And occassionally helping people become better people wouldn't suck so bad either.
My son is driving me absolutely batty. But it's my fault for letting him stay home all day, every day, during my unemployment phase. Praise the Lord, I got a job yesterday and I start tomorrow. It's just an administrative job, nothin' too crazy, but that's good, that's what I need to just get me by while I become a butt-kicking psychologist!
And last but certainly not least, I've sworn off dating, again. Don't ask why, it's too complicated and ridiculously simple all at the same time and if you really think about it the answers will appear. I'm sure it's what you think it is and what you think it isn't. It doesn't really matter anyway, because it's just a decision that could easily change in five minutes because I'm a woman and that's what I do best, change my freakin' mind! And maybe because dating makes me want to poop on myself.
Stop being so damn stingy
Wednesday, Jan. 25, 2006 at 12:49 pm
The selfishness I see in society on a daily basis frustrates me and saddens me all at once. What's worse is I mostly feel completely powerless about it. If affects every aspect of my life, yet I can't control others, so I'm stuck with the option of sucking it up.
Sometimes I think that if I, myself, am just a little nicer or take that extra step to be friendly to a stranger, that it will somehow create a domino effect and people in general will start being more generous.
Then I have to wonder, am I just a cynic? Do I subconsciously look for the bad in people? Of course I would never admit to consciously seeking out the bad in people. Or worse yet, am I projecting my own faults onto those whose paths I happen to cross?
When I talk about selfishness, I mean to lump in every aspect of a person's ability to give - emotional, physical, financial, and anything else one can think of. People are unbelievably stingy with their time, their cash, their love, their help and most of all, their love.
But what's worse: people who don't give or people who give with a sense of obligation rather than genuine concern? I hate it when someone gives of themselves, but then throws it in your face at every opportunity. As if you should permanently lodge your lips to their anus, otherwise you are an ungrateful turd.
So, do I stop being nice because everyone else is cranky? Or do I keep on keepin' on with the hopes that an unselfish attitude will ultimately prevail with some level of contribution to betterment of society?