the Shakedown: slang. "a thorough search of a place or person." (dictionary.com)

Something about my mother's vagina

Friday, Dec. 03, 2004 at 9:43 am

Twenty seven years ago on a cold wintery morning, somewhere in Minnesota, a beautiful baby girl was born into this world. It was clear the moment she arrived, that this girl was a force to be reckoned with. She screamed and wanted to be clothed, fed and held and she wanted it now, damn it.

Ha ha! Was that totally gay or what? Ha ha ha! But seriously, kids, today is my birthday! Yeah for me! Twenty seven years ago I came out of my mother's vagina! How cool is that?



Fuck chemical imbalances

Tuesday, Nov. 30, 2004 at 11:59 am

I'm pretty convinced that I have a chemical imbalance that causes me to be depressed. Because everything in my life can be perfectly fine and BOOM! out of nowhere I get all sad and all I want to do is sleep.

Currently I've been feeling this way since before Thanksgiving. I actually had a wonderful time on Thanksgiving day and felt genuinely happy. But since then, not so much.

I've seriously been sleeping between 12 and 15 hours a day for the past week or so. I don't want to get out of bed for anything. I've been neglecting my son and myself, for that matter. I've been neglecting work and I've been ignoring people.

I can't figure out what's wrong with me, but to be honest I'm trying not to think about it. It's a different kind of depression than I've really felt before. Before it was, or I thought it was, because I'm fat or I hate my job or I don't have a true love or my friends are all bastards. But now? Now it's like an "I don't give a fuck about anyone or anything" kind of depression.

I'm kind of scared about this place that my mind is in right now. But at the same time, I don't really give a fuck. I'm thinking this whole depression has something to do with me being broke with no sign of money coming in any time soon, but then I just think if I keep sleeping it will all go away.



"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." C.S. Lewis