the Shakedown: slang. "a thorough search of a place or person." (dictionary.com)

S'all good in mah hood

Sunday, Oct. 17, 2004 at 3:21 pm

What would happen if I cut off one my own moles? Like seriously, take the scissors and slice myself open for the sake of cosmetics? It's one of those teeny tiny moles that is just barely connected and kind of hangs there, just begging to be cut off.

I've been so busy, yet I feel as though I have nothing to talk about. It's mostly been work related busy-ness. So who wants to here about how I've written my first listing agreement? Or how I found the perfect house for my buyer and the seller's accepted our offer? Or how I have another buyer and seller clients on the way? Or how I now go and have beers with my collegues every time any one of us accomplishes something good, no matter how minute? Or how I feel sort of guilty because I enjoy my job so much that it hardly feels like I'm working? Nobody wants to hear that, now, do they?

Well maybe people will enjoy the fact that I might possibly maybe sort of have a boyfriend. I know I've said that a dozen times before and they never seem to last over a month, but so what? I'm a one-day-at-a-time type of girl.

So! We shall call this month's flavor Ricky. Ricky is originally from Honduras and has a sexy accent. He's twenty-seven years old, maybe five feet ten inches tall and is the most musclular guy I've ever dated. He's very affectionate, which is totally opposite of my last loser - you remember, Miguel. He's very untrusting, so I'm working on winning him over in that department. Hey, girl's like challenges too. Also, he's not a player, so I really have to check myself sometimes and keep my player mode in check. Ricky is sweet and I don't want to hurt him. Just keep reminding me to be gentle with this one.

And did I mention the sex? Oh how could I forget! You can all spank me later for that. The sex? Possibly the best sex I've ever had. Several factors make sex good for me. Number one, believe it or not, is how comfortable I feel with the guy. Number two, is how attracted I am to the guy overall - looks, personality, all that. And number three, of course, is the quantity and quality of the penis. I've said it before and I'll say it again - size DOES matter, but not as much as how well he knows how to work it. Also, dirty talk, caressing other body parts during the sex, and letting me know by words and sounds that he is enjoying it as well.

So, yah. It's all good.



Best nine dollars I ever spent!

Tuesday, Oct. 12, 2004 at 3:32 pm

Saturday I invested, by accident, the very best nine dollars I have ever invested in my entire life. Just when I thought taking a dump couldn't get any better, it did. I bought something that not only enhanced the entire perching on the toilet seat process but added some flair to my bathroom decor as well. Have you guessed what I'm talking about yet? Yes, that's right, kids, I bought a squishy toilet seat! I really don't care if the squishy toilet seats are meant for old people. I deserve to have cushioning under my big ass when I'm dropping a load, damnit!

I deserve an enjoyable pooping experience!



"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." C.S. Lewis