the Shakedown: slang. "a thorough search of a place or person." (dictionary.com)
Karma is a ma' fucka, but Angela is a real bitch
Thursday, Aug. 05, 2004 at 11:49 pm
Ok, I'm just going to go right into the story and I want everyone's opinion because I'm totally conflicted as to what, if anything, I should do? I'm holding a lot of power in my hands right now and I'm afraid of what will happen if I use it. I'm fucking tired but can't fucking sleep until I get this shit off my chest. Pull up a chair, kids, this could take a while.
Ya'll know Miguel. Yeah, Miguel, the guy I knew from back in the day, got reconnected with again four months ago, fell in love with quickly, then just as quickly the fucker dumped me, stating things were moving too fast for him. Yeah, that Miguel.
Well, as some of you might have noticed, since we've broken up, which was about four weeks ago, we've still been hanging out and fucking. Because hey, a girl's got needs. Plus I like having sex with cute Mexican boys with big wangs. But from what I found out today, not so much anymore, more along the lines of I want to vomit in his mouth and shit on his face.
After we broke up he told me he had gone out to lunch with this other chick, we shall call her Nona, right before he conveniently broke it off with me. He claims she had nothing to do with him dumping me, but I know now and sensed then that he's a fucking liar. He's lied to me so many times, it's not even funny, and about stupid little shit, but tonight is the doozy. Don't worry, I'll get to it. Anyway, Nona is away for training in Arizona until October, so he's been using the excuse that she's not here right now, so she doesn't matter. Right? Riiiight.
So last night we went out again, as usual, had a blast, went back to his place and had dirty, hot sex then proceeded to cuddle before falling asleep. That's all fine and dandy.
However, prior to that, he had mentioned that he was going out of town today. He claimed he was going to Texas to see one of his "boys." I couldn't care less, but for some reason I had this sneaking suspicion that he was going to Arizona to see Nona, who supposedly means nothing. If there's one thing I've learned and relearned and reconfirmed tonight, it's to ALWAYS trust your mother fuckin' instincts.
So, me, being the intelligent bitch that I am, I look up flight information for our tiny little airport here in Wichita. Hmm, that's funny, not one single flight going to Texas today, but lo and behold, yes, you guessed it, there's a flight to Arizona at 3 o'clock on the dot, exactly when he said he was leaving. He has underestimated me so many times, I've busted him in so many lies, I don't know why the fuck he thinks this time would be any different. I checked with some of my resources and I have confirmed that the fucker is indeed in Arizona visiting Nona for the weekend.
So here's my dilemna. I have Nona's phone number. Yes, that's right, I am so fucking slick, I feel sorry for any fucker that messes with me. I told Miguel from the beginning, don't fucking play me, because you will be sorry. Do I lie? No, my name is not Miguel, I'm not a habitual liar. My name is Angela and I tell so much truth sometimes it hurts.
Does Nona have a right to know the kind of man she's dealing with? Does she have a right to know that just last night, this man who's taken four days off just to come visit her, surely she's thinking it's pretty serious for him to go to that extent, was fucking another woman? I don't know what to do. I'm seriously so conflicted.
Part of me just wants to say fuck it and forget I ever knew the bastard. Another part of me feels compelled to bring justice to the world by busting yet another player-wanna-be's game. He doesn't deserve any woman, as far as I'm concerned, if he can't even be a fucking grown up and try and play with people's lives like this. Fuck that. What right does he have to do that? All I know is, if I was her, I sure as fuck would want to know.
So far I've left him three nice little text messages. 1 - "Tell Nona I said hi, you fuckin' liar." 2 - "How can you look her in the face when you just fucked me last night?" and saving the best for last, 3 - "You better pray I don't call Nona while you are there." That's enough threats for one night, don't you think?
So tell me, what the fuck should I do? Get justice and break a girl's heart? Or let it go and eventually let her heart get broken on it's own? Because you know, guys like that never change.
It's all about ME day
Thursday, Aug. 05, 2004 at 12:44 pm
Answer these questions here, here or in my comments. Because you love me so much.
1. Who are you?
2. Are we friends?
3. When and how did we meet?
4. How have I affected you?
5. What do you think of me?
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?
7. How long do you think we will be friends?
8. Do you love me?
9. Do you have a crush on me?
10. Would you kiss me?
11. Would you hug me?
12. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I?
13. Would you have sex with me?
14. Physically, what stands out?
15. Emotionally, what stands out?
16. Do you wish I was nicer?
17. Am I lovable?
18. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
19. Describe me in one word.
20. What was your first impression?
21. Do you still think that way about me now?
22. What do you think my biggest fear is?
23. What do you think my weakness is?
24. What makes me happy?
25. What makes me sad?
26. What reminds you of me?
27. If you could give me anything what would it be?
28. If you could ask anything of me, what would it be?
29. How well do you know me?
30. When's the last time you saw me?
31. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
Thanks, Betty.
Where's a love potion when you need one?
Thursday, Aug. 05, 2004 at 12:10 pm
Someone please tell me how to make someone fall madly in love with you in EIGHT weeks or less. Thanks.
When did cheating become the "norm?"
Wednesday, Aug. 04, 2004 at 1:04 pm
Everyone I know has either cheated or been cheated on. I don't understand how I'm supposed to believe that any relationship can ever be totally and completely monogamous. I want to believe, I really, really do. But when all the facts are stacked against my beliefs, then how can I continue to believe? And if I can't believe that I will ever have a monogamous relationship, then I never want to have a relationship. And if I'm never going to have a relationship, then that just makes me sad. Like there's this humungous void in my life that will never be filled.
Yes, I want to fall in love again someday. I want to feel that deep kind of love that runs through every ounce of your blood. I want to know someone inside and out and them know me the same in return. I want to have that one person that I want to cuddle up against at the end of every day. I want to be able to wholly trust someone with all my vulnerabilities and insecurities.
But how can I? How can I when everything in this world tells me it's impossible? Friends, family, television, movies, the media, everything tells me that men and women are cheaters. Everything tells me that humans are incapable of being monogamous. Everywhere I look someone is hurting someone else because they are too fucking selfish to give the person they love the one thing that they need the most: fidelity.
Without fidelity, everything else in the relationship is meaningless and the entire foundation of being a "couple" is washed away. If you can't trust someone with your body, then how can you trust them with your heart or your mind?
That warm, fuzzy feeling
Tuesday, Aug. 03, 2004 at 12:03 am
12:03am - I was farting like a Mexican on Two-For-One Taco Night tonight! Wooh!
Also - Boys Are Just Toys - that's my new motto for my dating life. Yep, sure is.
Just. Wow.
Monday, Aug. 02, 2004 at 2:09 pm
Now this is true love.
Also,
Yum, and
Yum.