the Shakedown: slang. "a thorough search of a place or person." (dictionary.com)
Happy Papa's Day!
Sunday, Jun. 20, 2004 at 8:01 pm
Why does love make you crazy? He loves me, I know he loves me. But still I've never felt so insecure about love in my life. I need to get this shit in check quickly, because otherwise it's going to drive me insane. Seriously, you folks will be getting updates from me from the loony bin.
Miguel told me he wants to have babies with me! See, it's crap like that that men say that drive women loco. Then he broke the romance by saying he wants to have SEVEN of them. Hahahahaha haha ha hahahah ahaha haha. Ha. Yeah that's basically what I said. Maybe HE'S the one who's insane. Crikey!
Did I just say crikey? See? Insane, I tell ya. Insane.
Why can't I just sit back and enjoy being in love? What the fuck is my problem? Why do I want to bash his head in when he doesn't call me exactly when he's supposed to? This could very well drive me to drugs.
Ok, this isn't making sense. I'll shut up now.
Happy Papa's Day!
Pop goes the ego
Thursday, Jun. 17, 2004 at 2:32 pm
I've started jogging. I'm up to two blocks at a time. Don't hate me because I'm like an athlete now. You too can jog two blocks at a time. Just gain about fifty extra pounds. It's that simple.
For those that are curious about my "emotionally exhausting" weekend, I'll try to make this short because I've already told the long sorted story a buttload of times and I'm tired of talking about it.
Miguel has a little something I like to call an over-inflated ego. Lots of men are this way, and I've taken it upon myself to teach men across the land to become more humble by using my razor sharp attitude to deflate their egos down to a size that can fit comfortably in my back pocket. I gave Miguel Lesson #2 in Ego Deflation this past Friday. Mind you, this was all unintentional, I swear. Maybe it was subconscious, I don't know. Nevertheless, it made my weekend hell and made me realize just how in love with Miguel I really am. Also, I'm vulnerable to this love and I fucking hate it. But I'd rather be in love with a great guy, then not in love at all. If I had the choice, of course. So looks like the joke was on me and my over-inflated ego afterall. Everyone needs to be humbled now and then.
Everything is back on track now and we are in love, so it's all mashed potatoes and gravy. The boy still drives me crazy, in good ways and bad, but he's all mine. For the time being anyway.
Now I'm off for my two block jog!
In short. . . I'm perfect
Monday, Jun. 14, 2004 at 11:02 am
Ran across this handwriting analysis site via Moody Mama. It was really interesting and surprisingly very on target about my personality. Here are some of the more interesting points. Hopefully I�ll have a real post/update for ya�s later regarding my emotionally exhausting weekend.
- Your emotional outlay is exactly halfway between an introvert and an extrovert. So you have the best of both worlds: the ability to think logically and make hard decisions... and at the same time, you can still be very emotional. Which means that you can spend time (and get along) with different personality types.
You're an expressive person, and aren't afraid to show your emotions outwardly. And you probably cry when you hear a sad story. You can be kind, friendly, affectionate, and considerate of others. And even put yourself in the other person's shoes.
When convincing you to buy a product or an idea, a sad story could get the sale... when logic might not accomplish anything.
Looking at the letter "i", you chose "i-dot is just about normal".
This is a good trait to have, because it shows loyalty... a solid commitment to stand by those people or ideals in which you truly believe.
Looking at the letter "i", you also chose "Slashed i-dot".
This leads me to think that you were irritated or angry at the time the i-dot was written. So... who are you mad at?
Oh boy... the letter "o"... this is a very insightful letter.
When you picked "No inner loops, letter is clean and crisp", that told me that you are very blunt and brutally honest. When asked your opinion, you call it exactly as you see it.
You find secrets and deceits distasteful... and a waste of energy. But most people are not as blunt as you tend to be. So here's a suggestion... if a co-worker asks you if she looks like she might be gaining a little weight... LIE!
This is an important trait!
When I asked you how high the t-bar is crossed on the stem of the letter "t", you chose "Midway up the stem". This tells me that you set goals that are realistic, practical, and obtainable. Also, that your self-esteem is good... but not so high as to make you over confident.
People that cross their "t's" in the upper middle are pragmatic and secure with themselves. You have the confidence necessary to make changes in your life that would improve your situation.
When asked how the t-bar ends, you chose "Knife-point toward the right".
This tells me that you are a bit of a smart-ass. Sorry... the politically correct term is "sarcastic". This trait is usually exercised as a means of defending your ego. Sometimes your sarcasm comes out as a dry sense of humor. And expressed in this positive manner, people really enjoy it. But on the other hand, if you're at all insecure about yourself, your sarcasm can be directed at others... and be very hurtful. It's your call!
This is very important! Concerning your y's and g's, you chose "Loop turns downward".
This trait signifies that you get discouraged easily. And because of that, you often quit before you achieve success. As much as I might have been kidding around during this analysis, this character trait is very serious.
In psychological terms, the downturned "y" is usually associated with a fear of success. So, if you've found yourself not quite crossing the finish line on jobs, projects, or relationships... you probably do have a problem in this area. This applies to both relationships and business goals.
This subconscious "barrier" explains why so many truly gifted individuals accomplish so little with their lives. If you've noticed this pattern in your life, then you might want to consider changing the programming within your subconscious.
Hypnosis is the most effective means of permanently correcting this character trait.
Concerning your y's and g's, you chose "Medium loop".
This tells me that you still have healthy physical drives... yes, that means both sexually... and in your ambition. Concerning sex, you aren't a prude, but you're not "loose" either... you just enjoy it with the right partner.
You indicated that your "Entire writing slants uphill".
This indicates a sense of optimism in everything you do. Way to go! Optimism is one key to a successful and happy life. If attitude is everything, you have a leg up in life.