the Shakedown: slang. "a thorough search of a place or person." (dictionary.com)

Like a nympho on crack

Friday, Jun. 11, 2004 at 11:37 am

I was like a nympho on crack last night. Shit, I really need to chill with the alcoholism. It's like, when I know I'm going to drink I get all excited like a pre-teen boy spankin' the monkey to a britney spears video! Then I start the chugging and before I know it, I can feel the earth spinning and I just want to get it on like donkey kong.

Last night I remembering telling Miguel that alcohol is a truth serum. Then I told him a bunch of crap that I wish I wouldn't have. I'm such an idiot when I'm drunk, but I use the excuse that I was drunk so it's all good.

Anyway, I went to the annual picnic for realtors yesterday evening with a realtor friend, Les, of mine. Free booze and free food, who can pass that up? We stayed just long enough to get drunk and fill our tummies. Then we bailed to some crackhead hole in the wall bar. We chugged like three more drinks in a matter of about thirty minutes.

I talked to Les this morning and she said she doesn't remember driving home and she thinks she remembers puking and passing out in her front lawn. Haha! Shit, I love drunk fuckers.

Me, on the other hand, I went home and Miguel came over and I attacked him. I'm like a giant walking hard on! I don't know if it's my age, you know that whole sexual peak thing, or if it's just Miguel. God, he's so fucking sexy, you don't even know. I seriously don't think I've ever been so attracted to someone in my entire life. I told him that I want to get a cast made of his dick, so I can use it whenever he's not around. Man, I'm a sick puppy.

The game plan for tonight? Hopefully get to boink Miguel again. Then maybe out for drinks with my friend, Maya and her hubby. Tomorrow night? BLOGGER MEET UP!!! Yaaaaaay!



Here, let me shove this broom handle up your anus!

Wednesday, Jun. 09, 2004 at 10:29 am

I have not asked my son's biological father, Dick, for a penny is over two years. And he has not offered a penny, not even so much of a, "How's my son doing?" Nope. Nada. Zilch. Am I bitter, you ask? Nah.

Ok, maybe a little. A couple months ago, I decided to send Dick a picture of his son, just in case, you know, he might be curious if the child is alive and all. But, instead of a, "Thanks, how are you and my son?" I get this:

Dick: I feel like it would be beneficial to both of us to have some type of legal documentation in order to eliminate the possibilty of confusion or unexpected surprises in the future.

WTF? My first reaction was to tell him to suck my balls. But the rest of the correspondence went like this:

Me: If you are afraid of me coming after you for child support, I can promise you that won't happen. Otherwise, I'm not sure I understand your concern.

Dick: Well, I'd just like to have some type of legal document either way. I'll come up with something if you will concur.

Me: Feel free to send it my way, I'll have an attorney look over it.

Dick: I spoke with an attorney here and they recommended that the paperwork be initiated from Kansas since that is where you and (the child) reside. Can you check into it from there or should we try a different type of document?

Now, my friends, I need your advice. Should I respond with:

A) Fuck off and die.
B) Eat shit and die.
C) Die, loser, die.
or
D) Just ignore him for the rest of my life, or until my son is 18 and then sue him for all the back child support?



Celebrities who look like celebrities

Wednesday, Jun. 09, 2004 at 9:28 am

Is it just me, or are Jennifer Connelly and Nelly Furtado the same person?

And is it just me, or does Catherine Zeta-Jones look a lot like me?

Or is that just way too wishful thinking?



Icky-ta Meetup!

Tuesday, Jun. 08, 2004 at 11:10 am

It's that time again! Wichita Blogger Meetup time! If you are going to be in the Wichita area this Saturday night, June 12th, leave a comment with your email address and I'll send you the details for the meetup.

There will be food, alcohol, lots of laughs, several single, hot women and possibly some drunk booty shakin' going on. So far, the V.I.P. list includes: Laura, Tess, Cheri, Sheri, Carrie and Ann.

So if you want in on this action, leave me a comment or email me! You know you want to!



Lest I should ever forgot what a pimp I am

Monday, Jun. 07, 2004 at 2:47 pm

I was talking to this guy, Aric, that I dated once last year online today. Telling him all about Miguel. He's happy for me, but obviously a little jealous. He still has a thing for me. So I was telling him the only thing that bothers me about Miguel is that he is guarded with his feelings for me. His actions say a lot, and he did tell me that he loves me and has felt that way for a while, yet that's about the extent of his openness with his feelings.

I don't want to pressure Miguel. But it would be nice to hear something along the lines of how wonderful/special I am once in a while. Girls loves compliments, that's a huge "duh." Although I am of a rare breed of women, I'm still no exception in the compliments department. He tells me I look hot everytime I see him. And he does tell me that he loves my smile and eyes and hair. But I can just tell he's holding back. You know how some times you can just "sense" those things?

I'm not in a rush though. I'm trying to be patient. I know how much guys need to feel in control of everything. I want to allow Miguel to feel like the man, ya know? I'm secure enough in myself to let someone else take charge. I don't want to play games, but it's still early enough in our relationship that neither of us should be laying out ALL of our cards.

So as I'm telling Aric all of this, he decides to cock-block Miguel for a minute and give me, possibly, one of THE best compliments of my life. And it went a little something like this. . .

aric: then we met...
aric: and i was like WOW
aric: and we were laughing from the get go...
aric: and I was so at ease with you
aric: we could talk...
aric: joke...
aric: whatever
aric: and i realized that this... THIS... was a special person
aric: who i greatly enjoyed their company
aric: and i wanted to please
aric: and to make happy
aric: she's intelligent
aric: a great converstaionalist...
aric: and... she turns me on
aric: BIGTIME
aric: and i just kept thinking that I could enjoy spending time with her
aric: wherever and whenever
aric: doing somethin... or nothin
aric: just... being

I just think that's amazing. And the sad part is, the whole time I was wishing that it was Miguel telling me all of that. But love is never perfect. That's just the way is goes. I'm not happy about it, but I've accepted it. I'll never settle for less than what I know I'm worth, but for now, I'll keep that compliment from Aric as a reminder of what I truly am worth.



"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." C.S. Lewis